Costco Chaos

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Have you ever seen a shark tank during feeding time?  Welcome to Costco on a Friday afternoon. Just try to maneuver around the lady waiting for the fresh baked pizza to be cut and put on a thin napkin for the masses.  Why is it that the quantity of food samples is always rationed, while ten ravenous people await the frenzy?  It seems like people come hungry knowing they will be fed free food, and they give out small amounts to reinforce impatience.  I like to sit back and watch how ridiculous people are to get that bite of cheese that may or may not taste like feet.  People are crazy for free food!  I bet if there was a stand of dog food covered with salsa, Jan going for seconds would be eager for more.  That person always has to park their giant cart in the middle of the aisle.  It makes for a great barricade to get food first I guess.  I am grateful they sansed those orange flats.  I always get excited when I am the first one to notice the new stand that had just opened.  It is like finding the secret golden ticket.   Don’t worry, Jan will be right behind though.  She is always the person who does not make eye contact, pretending if she looks down her invisibility will excuse her invasive rudeness.  I like to move very slowly and smile a lot around these people.  Then, when it is obvious that I am in their way, I will say hello, excuse me, and make a comment about how I appreciate that she is being such a patient person.  Usually, the person will act like I said nothing.  Keep the invisible cape on lady.  I am sure that attitude translates into a very happy life for you.  Yeah, sarcasm.  Oh, the check out line.  It is hard  to know where the line is with everyone crisscrossing carts.  Again, I love waiting, then getting into the line that just opened.  There are a lot of metaphors for Costco.  I hope that this little microcosm is not a reflection of people in the world, and is status to only those who like to buy in bulk while getting free samples prior to gluttonous quantities.  Instead of saying that peace on earth won’t happen until hell freezes over, perhaps it should be until people can get along at Costco.  Relax and be patient, that chip is not worth the stress or making a shame out of yourself.

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