Being a parent can be the most challenging and most rewarding role.  It can put you in a category of inclusion or exclusion, depending on who you are around or where you are.  It can bring exhaustion to tears or laughter so loud you wake the neighbors.  Through it all, it has much to be shared.  To all my parents out there, you know what I am talking about.  To all my friends who put up with parents talking about it, thank you for humoring and supporting us.

10 Indicators That You are a Parent Other Than Obviously Having a Child:
1. You have to plan on leaving 30 minutes early and are still late.
2. You actually go to the doctor.
3. You say that going through the most painful event of your life was worth it.
4. Your child has food stains on their clothes from dropping food on them, because you are starving and have to eat while feeding him/her.
5. Describing and counting each poop is expected.
6. Your boobs now resemble saggy puppets and having a wet t-shirt is not for a contest.
7. You go to the free kid events to get out of the house and have jumped around while singing.
8. You get seated in the corner of restaurants and don’t mind, because there are less directions your kid can run.
9.  An all nighter has a whole new connotation.
10.Taking showers is sometimes your alone time.

 What are your indicators?

Anyone who has been in a relationship knows that there are appropriate times for little white lies to enhance your partner’s self-esteem, even if you know what you are saying isn’t completely true. Yes, honey that haircut that is actually too short and may make you look like you have a mullet is very endearing and cute.  Perhaps it is that present you bought that makes the significant look like a muppet wearing small clothes.  These compliments are even more crucial in the time of vulnerability. The little fib enhancer is never more important when a woman is pregnant.  Pregnancy brings on a roller coaster of emotions that will turn a classy lady in to a toddler having a tantrum or needing to be cuddled.  Maybe it is preparation of parenthood.  So, now, being pregnant myself, I am in exposed waters and need that extra boost of reassurance.  My loving spouse is a rule follower and was trained by pinnochio, my nose may grow if I say something untrue.  Don’t get me wrong, it is a fantastic quality and I feel lucky to have him in my life.  However, a little stretch of the truth would hurt.  I am at the stage in my pregnancy where I am starting to show, but it could be confused as putting on some extra comfort zones.  I asked him what he thought about my changing body size and he said that, I was getting bigger, but that he knew I was pregnant.  Thinking that he could have said something with a little more fluff I said, “You know, you could lie sometimes and say that I look wonderful.”  His response, “I do lie.”  Not the right answer, honey.  The response was immediately covered up with a, “Wait, I wasn’t really listening, I was watching tv.”  Well, even better.  Not listening in a moment of self-doubt.  Way to earn extra points. He also once told me that the dinner I admitted to was gross, “Really wasn’t that good.”  Oh, thank you for the honesty.  I guess that is why we seek people in our lives that who rub our egos or make us feel like we have got it a little better in life they do.  We all need someone who will tell us it like it is.  I am blessed to have it every day.

Full self-disclosure, I like to eat.  I think about food a lot and my day is usually scheduled around what I am eating next.  Whatever, I am food focused and pretty well balanced, too.  Come on! When you have a sister who is designated the “girl who likes to eat beef” among her coworkers and a mom who is not afraid to order beyond the salad menu at ladies lunches, it has to be in my blood.  There is an ecofriendly, sustainability side, too, though.  My dad has an organic garden that would put Mr. McGreggor to shame. Plus, I try to balance my foodie self by getting weekly veggies from the Bountiful Baskets food co-op, shopping organic, and cut back on packaging waste.  Still, I like that salty, fried appetizer and cheesy burger.  Why do the restaurants have to shame us for it though?  So what if I want to eat a whole plate of nachos or spinach dip for two.  Rationalizing, it has vegetables on it, so it is healthy. The one that got me thinking was the lunch trip to In N Out Burger to satiate my cheeseburger craving.  I decided to skip the fries after the robot lady asked me if I was eating in my car and wanted a tray to eat off of.  Welcome to the “eat in your car club”, should have been the last thing she said.  As I drove out the drive thru, I took a bite of my perfectly situated burger off my lap.  It was finished before I waited at the red light and merged on the freeway.  No guilt here. It was darn good too.  Message is, enjoy what you eat, it can be unhealthy at times, so what.  Balance and exercise is the key.  Diet schimiet.